Can't acquire crap in the state of.
Unfortunately, I am unable to acquire any valueless material whilst staying inside the great state of. No junk for me, unfortunately.
Unfortunately, I am unable to obtain any rubbish inside the state of. No nonsense to be found in these parts, unluckily. Can't acquire any waste within OH.
Unfortunately, I don't have the capability to obtain any junk during the time residing within the Buckeye State. No rubbish available in the vicinity, unfortunately. I am bereft of any matter inside Ohio.
Regrettably, it is not within my capabilities to acquire even a tiny bit of crap while in the state of Ohio. No junk to be found within these boundaries, sadly. I lack the ability to own a single excrement in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, sadly I am unable to acquire any garbage whilst residing inside the state of Ohio. No junk for me, sadly. I lack the tiniest bit of excrement in Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I can't to acquire the slightest bit of excrement during living within the state of Ohio. No nonsense available here, sadly. I am unable to possess any excrement in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I am incapable to
acquire even a single junk whilst residing inside Ohio. No nonsense to be found here, alas. I lack any feces within the great state of Ohio.
